I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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