Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
