fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
