nutella sex= disaster
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
