her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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