I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
