yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
