apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
