Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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