The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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