Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This is classic penis vs brain.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
