the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
