Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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