Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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