Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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