You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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