She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
