She announced her abortion via fbk
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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