If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
