In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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