Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
