Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
