Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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