Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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