You're so nebulous sometimes
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
