I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
