i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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