You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
