drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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