glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
