He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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