Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
