are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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