do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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