DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
worst night to have a conscience
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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