I should be sponsored by Trojan
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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