sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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