dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just had sex bonerless
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize