Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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