I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
