that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
