The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
