Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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