Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
