did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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