Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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