Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
