so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
