It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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