I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
