His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
