Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
