I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
