I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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