Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I want is dick and wine.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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