could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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