i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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