Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
