It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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