This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
