i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize