i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
