He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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