I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i now understand why vodka
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
