and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
