Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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