He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
