I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
